since you ask.......

I had some people asking how did I get Cory's ideas about pumpkin and preparing the pumpkin patch trip...
Carrie Anne already got a small pumpkin. And Cory was loving it, but you know how big sister is..and I don't blame her because he was rolling it all over the house. Dropped it twice, and finally I had to put it in a safe place. Then that day, we are planning to go to the pumpkin patch, I took it out and of course, Cory wants it. But we said "this is CA's pumpkin"..he knows "yours or mine" concepts. Of course, he did got upset and I asked him " you want a pumpkin" "Cory's pumpkin?" he signs "want" and I told him, that we will go to the pumpkin "farm" patch to get a pumpkin. Put your shoes, jacket on, get in the car..we'll go to the pumpkin patch." He was so excited about getting one. I m seeing him sign "pumpkin" over and over again. So the rest is you know..it doesn't take much to figure it out. (another idea I would is, to go out and buy a pumpkin myself and bring it home..hold it until the field trip)
Today we did the carving..it took a while..but it's worth it with language stimulations. I had to do alot of modelling, then using turn taking, with cutting, scooping, smell good or bad..yucky..face features. Oh don't forget the sounds! He loves the auditory part! He likes to "knock" on it to hear the texture/hollowness of it. And the sounds of "wet sawing"...honestly, that one I can't really hear it! I really tried. He kept saying.."listen.." I just shudder the thought of "wet sawing"...(I'm picturing the scenes of a horror movie..I won't even go there!!!) Seriously, can you hear those sawings?!?!? wow. I'm happy to say I'm not missing that out! LOL
I took pictures of sequences of how to turn pumpkin into jack o lantern. I will be making a book with simple words for literacy. Today, I heard him say the word "Pumpkin"..its not exactly perfect..but it's vocalized! wow..amazing how much you would have to do to get him to say words these days. I'm still waiting for the day he say "I love you" using his voice. He do signed it. Can't complain!

Halloween! NOT Christmas!!!!

wow..lots of language around Halloween. Labels, labels, plannings, lots of crafts, books..there are so many things to show Cory about Halloween. He is starting to get the idea...He is gonna be a cute fuzzy bear! We got the costume back from our friends, it used to be CA's. Cool. I love that bear costume. His favorite word is "pumpkin"...so let's see how he will reacts when we carve one tonight. It is so much fun to see through his eyes..learning new things like Halloween. I feel like Im re-living the childhood again. Keep me young. ha ha.
Other day, we got a box of boxes. One of the book is Christmas. Cory was really excited about the picture of Santa. So I read him that little book, about Santa, coming down the chimney and reindeers etc. simple story. Now Im seeing him talking about Santa. OY!!!!!! he runs to the fireplace and keep looking up the chute. oy oy..I got to hide that book!!!!!! whack. For now, I think the novelty wears out..so back to Halloween theme! Please one thing at a time! Unfortunately, yesterday we went to Costco..ya you KNOW IT!!!!!!!! dang it...Christmas everywhere! oh boy. Cory, now talks about Santa, again. sighhhhhhhhh Im SO NOT ready for this.

lol..Im ONLY human!!!!

For some reasons, last night, I forgot to take CI off Cory at bedtime. Nor him, not telling me about it! I was pretty tired last night..and Cory too. It feels like a long day yesterday with yucky weather. After reading a story..I noticed that he is not at his full attention..his eyes grazed over my (signing) telling story. He literally just went to bed..so I figured. Good night. Yup, I forgot about his CI still attached to him. Sean came home and like a father, he went in to check on him before he went to bed. He said..why did you leave CI on him???? im like I didn't! He said to me to go look. LOL..it's still there. opps. I guess that is pretty normal. I am surprised that he didn't acknowledge it. I wonder if other kids would like to leave on at night time? Im curious about it. I know I have a girlfriend who leaves her hearing aid on at night time. (she only wears one aid) She said she cannot have it off at night time. Don't ask me why..

why no pictures?

Hi..I have to be careful with photos of Cory up to this point. Due adoption act, we can't post it because I may risk in posting them in websites where everyone can access to it. I am still trying to figure out how to "privatized" this blog. I haven't yet. Sorry..people has been asking about it. I think once when the adoption order (Paper works are finalized) I may be allowed to post some photos but again I have to go through some paper works to find out if I can or not. It depends how closed this adoption is. (whether the birth family wants to find us or not..) There are some loopholes in this right now. For now, he is in our placement for sure and we are not to contact the birth family and same for them to us.

HOpe that helps.

I do sent a private email with some photos to close friends and families. Just ask! You know my email address.

October...finally catching up. (almost)

Well, October was much much better month. thank god! I literally slowed down and really taking all this in. (suddenly, its like a reality hit me..i have a son!!!!!!!!) whoa! Im crying when I write this. Sometimes Im just a knucklehead, I do have some friends who do whacked me occasionally. I love you too! Smile.
It was an awesome experience..I know I kept saying this. (I hope this never ends!) the feeling of love and the little boy in our family..makes me just wanna shout to the world. "It's AWESOME!"
Yes, it is difficult at times..but its just all normal. Having a hearing loss kid is different than hearing kid BUT I never would allow that! I expect to treat him the same as everyone else..big deal, he has hearing loss. I know some people may not feel this way. I understand. One part, maybe its because I have hearing loss myself so I could be just saying as a person. Don't treat me differently. I thank my parents never, let me be the "deaf" person I am or any different. They wouldn't allow me be treated differently. No pity there! If I was gonna be punished, I will be punished the same as my brother. ditto! In spites, of my faults (at least I am admitting that Im not a perfect), they love me the same no matter what. They still love me when I decided to learn sign language when I was 21 yrs old. and still love me when I make mistakes deaf or not.
Because Im a Sp. Need ECE teacher for the deaf and hard of hearing, I do not allow children get special treatments because they are deaf. I only try my best to make sure they get the full potentials as their hearing peers and their family.
Because I am just using both signings and speech with Cory so he has the both "access" which gives him an opportunity to communicate to his likings whatever it is. At least, I am not limited to one method so he's not alway second guessing things. (and me) I used a lot of books, pictures, draw pictures, always use extra words like yesterday, today, tomorrow, which, why, first, second, then, (those are words that I wanted to expose to him so he will EVENTUALLY get what they means) and yup, he does now. I also try to be "colorful" with specific things like , bring me that red car rather than " car", or I want that BIG piece of bread to show and he really picks up on those words. (yes both ASL signing and talking)
I tell you..there were a lot of time, I was firm and not give up or let him sway away with it. But it works. He knows not to do it again or was more CLEAR on things than "grey" area. I 'll try to think of an example. I know that its a little different than a typical hearing kid..which you can say easily to explain things, knowing he understands what you meant.
An example, Cory found a ball, he was throwing in the house. By my action, first, I take the ball from him . (so I know he will get my full attention) I had to go down to his level and say " I see you found a ball, but please no throwing ball in the house"..I had to gesture and show him by action..(throwing ball..nooo) "not here...throw ball outside". "why..it will break something" and by action showing pretending if throw..this vase will fall and break". Then I would show him by sitting on the floor "we can roll the ball gently..back and forth" show him by rolling it. Of course, he picks it up and threw it. I say no..FIRM. I say "roll ball or time out if throw it again". he threw it again. So I had to give him time out. ( i know some of you may think its a little too extreme.."he's too young" he doesn't understand" etc. TRUST me ..he does. Kids are smarter than you think. YOU can do it. and of course, he's bawling his eyes. after two minutes..we tried it again. he was about to do it again (throwing) I looked right at him. "roll ball or Time out again"..he automatically went to floor and start rolling. Two things, HE learned its wrong, "no means no" its not hard. Of course, we had some timeouts in the first few weeks and after that, he knows the rules.
I'm laughing here..(I shouldn't..but of course he didn't see me laughing) Last night, Cory just went up to CA and hit her. CA (I told her with encouragements that she must let Cory know that hurt and don't hit me etc..even it doesn't hurt but to not allow "hittings" in general) told Cory ..that hurts, don't hit me. But he looked away and looked at daddy (Sean) who of course, told Cory "Cory, no hitting..." real firm and then Cory ran up to Sean and whacked him THEN he took off running down the hall. He knews he did something wrong..so he ran over to Time Out spot and sat there, cover his eyes. well, that was easy. LOL
Lately, due to his CI, he can hear really good. I am still surprised every day..
I can easily say to him "Cory, TIMEOUT" he can hear that and just go there himself. Of course, he would pouting..and say "sorry" right away. (now its got to the stage where he thinks when he say "Sorry" all is good and he can go now. Unfortunately, I'm on to his game now. I tell him ..wait Time out first then you can say sorry"..of course it depends the degree of punishment or his actions. smart little cookie!
I got to run!!!!!! see you next time.

Getting back to our routines...

ok..this one is gonna be short version than a long one (I'll try my best to jam the September news into October!!!!!) if not..oh well.
Getting back to "school" routines were CRAZY...I think I was so tired that I just went to bed soo early those days. Its one thing to another and another and another..constantly on a "go" daily..I guess catching up on basics and going errands after not being able to do anything for 2 months? Cory has several appointments, which its lots of paper works, programs, speech therapy, social workers etc etc. Plus CA's schedule..oy!!! I know that its busy enough with one..but two! no matter how old they are..it just busy . PERIOD. I m still not determined whether Cory's schedule or Carrie Anne's is easier.. poor guy..every morning, its let's go let's go..get up at 7:00 am and out the door by 8:15am in time for CA's school. Oh ya..did I mentioned that the school time schedule changed?? grrr. last year it was 8:40-8:45. now its 8:30..due to school budget. (go figure) anyway..because it was such a rush..I forget to stop and think for a pause to allow this alllllll take in for Cory and (duh me..I should know better) explain as much as I can possibly can what is happening. "where are we going?" we need to get dressed, eat and get ready to take CA's to school etc etc. EVERYONE at BCF would probably whack me for this..ya ya.. Seriously, I can understand how easily one can fall back or forget the littlest thing like taking time and allowing language or communication process at pace to get them to see to the fullest possible of understanding what is happening around their surroundings. I tell you no doubt, that is sooooo IMPORTANT!!! I learned my lesson, to the needless, I think by the third day, (sniff..) Cory just literally bawled his eyes out one morning after trying to "woof" down his breakfast then directly to his shoes/coat and out of the door. Carrie Anne and I just stopped and looked at him. We couldn't figure out what's wrong with him..I keep asking him if he fall or hurt himself etc.. I checked from top of this head to his toes..nothing. I just looked right at him and thinking. Literally, I had to rethink of the whole thing myself..thinking dang it..he was overwhelmed with our morning routines..I felt really bad about this. It was probably something I should have explain to him more with what we are doing and where are we going. I did in fact told CA that she is a big girl she really needs to try to get her stuff ready in mornings herself and try to be more responsible. (bad habits are hard to break..) back to that morning, I just sat down and just held him and had to take a step back. Allow some time for Cory to process this morning routine, and try to explain as much as possible with what we have to do and where are we going? etc. I just sat there and wait for him to be "ready" himself and at the same time, telling him we need to walk CA to school. Then after few minutes, he said to me "shoes?" and then we went from there. I should know. Its an adjustment, not just for Cory but for me. I just have to be more creative in areas of allowing him to process things in his own paces. I know that we live in this world where everyone is always rushing and busy...I crave for those days when I was little and my mom was a stay-home mom, I remember not being so busy or fanatic these days.
Another thing, I didn't really bother to tell him (signs) much with so little language he has..so honestly I had no idea HOW much he understands..so again as a professional, little and short sentences as possible. But again, I don't want to limit his language either. But with time, now I know how much or how little I can sign with him depends on where he is and whether I can get his full attention. I think that is hard for parents to go through that..I can understand. You want to give him your full potentials so in order he gets the full potentials. ( I'll try to avoid the word "high expectations"..it can be dangerous in sense.)
I had to laugh..the other day..one parent asked me about school for Cory when he goes for Kindergarten. I was on FULL SPEED on that one, saying that I want him to be in the same school as my daughter. Its a neighbour school after all, near my home. (yup it'll be the awesome thing and make our life easy..and Cory's life normal as a little boy) blah blah..I was saying that the school has a speech therapist for few the students there. and they have a learning resource class so we would know he can get support from there if he need to etc. OF course, one of the therapist interrupted and let me on that FIRST of all..it DEPENDS on the child, where his language/speech is at, OUR commitments and advocating etc. Im like oh oh ya ya..
WOW...I am one of those parents!!!!!!! I'm sitting there thinking..wait a minute. what am I thinking? OF COURSE she is right! I was being "ahead" of myself again. so these are the days, I need to sloooow down and let the nature take course for Cory. Seriously, I had to remind myself several times to relax. and just take one day at a time. So now..things are just nice and dandy. I really hate September..LOL.

Birch Bay..last two weeks in August..wasn't too bad??

wasn't it? I tell you I think so..but that is me. IT wasn't that horrible. We finally had a chance to bring Cory down to the trailer and make the best of the last two and half weeks of summer down there. Carrie-Anne was thrilled, to see her summer friends and catch up etc. Cory, on the other hand, it was an adjustment for him really. I wonder if its too soon for him...

He wasn't sleeping well..naps too short. fighting when its bed time and getting up really early. I know one thing for sure, he is having a BLAST!!!!!!!! I can tell he really loves Birch Bay. The pool, beach, playing everyday..walks etc. How could you not??? We kinda of solved the issue of sleeping after third nights..he hates sleeping in playpen!!!!! That was the problem so I had to encourage Carrie Anne to give up her sleeping area so Cory is near by with us. It's time for CA to move to front and into hide-a-bed. She is getting big to be sleeping on mattress beside us. Not much room to move around.

We stayed there until long weekend of Sept..actually we were supposed to stay until Tuesday..forgo first day of school for CA anyway..its only a hour on first day and Im like what's the point? the border lineups would be wayyyyyyyy better on Tuesday instead of Monday Labour Day. (Cory doesn't have Nexus ..so we are back to regular line ups than the ones we used to..sob!) I am working on getting one for him but have to wait until name changed first and then passport then nexus! I gave up by Saturday ..I had ENOUGH..I was exhausted, bored and missing my friends, computer, home, routines (its hard being with a toddler all the time) Sean and CA stayed down there until Monday..they can go thru Nexus. So when I camehome on Saturday..it was purely blessed! my own hot bath, access, Cory is back to routine, napping again etc. ahh at least I was able to get stuff ready for "Back to school" etc..tons of laundrys, clean my house etc....I feel not so stress out like mainly I do at the beginning of school year with all that going on. Cory was much better once we were at home. Oh well..there is alway next year, he'll be more confidence and ready this time.

Second night..

Second day..we all went into our routine and of course Cory's too. We found that it was so easy and will blended right into our family. I was prepared for all kind of possible issues that can happen with this transition. Its almost like he was always had been with us like birth son...
We are very fortunate that Cory was almost too easy-going kid and happy..I kept waiting for something to happen. I think overall the whole thing is difficult is FOR ME! yup...you know how I hate changes. I really miss working..working with families, my part time schedule as working mom and stay home mom..I liked the balance! so I dont become insane of staying home all the times. I remember since I moved out of my parents house..I became workalcoholic..working all the times, sometimes three jobs at once. Always had to be busy and working all the time, taking in all the overtime, weekends too etc. Until I had my daughter, my world changed. But I still have to "work"!!! so I settled for part time work and part time home. NOW its changed again..ugh! I think that's why I'm hesistated at some point when people ask me how it going? enjoying your new son. LOL I wouldn't change anything for the world! It was a WONFERFUL experience! My love grow every day..keeping in faith more than ever. I try to relax ..and sit back and see the world differently. I do miss my families at work..the commitments, the needs of my services...but I do have a different type of job now. IS a parent of deaf child now. I learn something new everyday ..and become more awareness now with the needs of deaf child and having one!

Anyway, by the second night...Cory doesn't want his crib. He wants the bunk bed (bottom) and we were kinda of not sure about it. But decided to have both in the room so he can be transferred back to crib if bed doesn't work out. and when I tried to give him his soother and he didn't want it!!!!! he just growled at me and turn away. Im like ok fine..I just left it on the dresser beside him. He hasn't touch it since. AND he slept in the bed ever since! no more crib no more soother. strangeeeeeee! that is ususual. Its almost like he suddenly want to be a big boy overnight!

The day Cory came home....

I remember waking that morning..feeling wonderfully blessed. Can't wait to go home! OUT of this flea-bagged "hotel"..ughhhh I rather go camping!
The "good bye" party is for all of us being there, with all foster mom's family too to say good bye to Cory. Plus their social worker etc. We were only there for a hour for a cake and coffee, then take off as we had a long drive home..
I tell you this..with a grin...I will NEVER take a 2 yrs. old for such a long car rides AGAIN!!!!!!! We left at 10:30 am and got home about 7:30pm. Of course, we had to stop several times..mainly my husband is the "one" who had to go bathroom. *snickers*
I'm feeling sad as I type this..that day for good bye party..it was the MOST difficult and AWKWARD thing for us to do. Even Carrie-Anne was feeling so upset..seeing foster mom and her daughter grief openly about Cory leaving. I know their social worker is trying to help them to deal with this. She even had to tell me ..that is its difficult for them and I not to worry about it. that we are doing a good thing for Cory. blah blah..i dont remember her words too much because I was really uncomfortable and just couldn't wait to get out of there! I did said to Sean at one point.."can we do this? I feel like Im taking her baby away! I can't do this!!!" Sean just had to hold me tightly..and gently reminded me that we are doing a good thing. I tell you it may be a good thing..but it's an awful thing too. I will NEVER forget that day for the rest of my life. They were trying very hard keeping their emotions in check as they put him in the truck and say good bye. I bought a silver pendant heart necklace for foster mom. It said "Love always" from Cory. It's at least I can do..she gave me the greatest gift.
We didn't get much stuff for Cory to bring home..except for his train table and set which it was a gift from all of them as part of departure gift.
I think I didn't stop crying until we were out of their hometown. I keep asking Sean who can see Sean from where he was sitting if Cory is ok etc like hundred of times. Cory was all smile and was having fun playing with Carrie Anne in the backseat. Thank god for her!
Onlly one thing that didn't happened was that Cory didn't fall asleep which we were told that he has driven down to Vancouver few times for CI mappings for at least 3 hours. But it didn't happened! so by 3pm..we were dealing with VERY cranky kid! he tried to rip out his car seat and was whining few times. It was still quite a way home so we stopped at Merritt by 4 and went to eat and then to a park for a hour. (plus water park..) it was refreshing.
Finally time to go again..he wouldn't sleep..and was really fussy more than ever. Oy! I had to try to entertain him by behind the seats with my hand puppets for several times! lol i then threw several items that I found in my purse to keep him amused..one at a time.
We finally got home..we didn't know whether we should let him play or put him right in bed. It was a tiring day. So we just waited about 30 minutes to put him in bed..he explored and play around bit. And then he was nodding off so it was easy. it was so content at once..back to my home, my family..my life and a little boy. sighhhhh

THE DELAY....??????

At the end of July, I was scheduled to fly out to see Cory for last visit and final. Two days before that, we got a disturbing news from our social worker. All visits are halted until further notice!!! I tell you I was so upset..we all were. Apparently, part of the protocol, all children must undergo see a doctor BEFORE adoption take place. They should have done that before all the visitings..for some reason, it was later. Doctor found something on Cory's back, near his tailbone and it wasn't noticed before. He was concerned about it, and wanted do more testings and our social worker wanted it to be clear before we went ahead with the visitings. (I think they are just covering their "asses" so I dont blame them for something later) It was indicinted as "spinal" problems. So they just wanted to make sure before adoption take place. Meaning if we still want to take him regardless if he has spinal problem or ?? That was a hard decision we would have to make..do we want to take a special need baby PLUS deafness??? that is really tough. I dont know if you know our story before..we had a foster son for almost 5 years and he was deaf, PLUS special needs. (autism/ADHD..mental disabilities)..the list go on. We were emotionally and physically exhausted. He required 24 hours care..you get the idea. We had no life for a long time. We also have to think of our daughter as well.
We had to wait until the test results for few days..therefore it became a week..their social worker want to start all over with adoption visitings again becuase it was about almost 2 weeks delay since Cory last saw us. I said no way!!!!! I had spent most of July visitings and we barely had our summer vacation yet! I thought by the end of July we'll get Cory and then spent the rest of August as summer vacation with our regular family outings. Unfortunately, it didn't pan out the way we wanted to. So our social worker and their social worker were "negotating" the terms back and forth ..and plus waiting for test results.
Finally when we got the results..it was negative for Spinal Bifida. It was SUCH a relief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tell you. I thank you EVERYONE for their prayers and support and their love during that difficult time. Everyone has been waiting too for Cory to come home and to find that it was delayed due to that.
So my story continue....I flew out the next day after long weekend of August. this time it's a short few days visit because time is running out. I stayed in a place which its more of B&B instead of going all the way to nearest town hotel. (i regret this decision..) oh well. I only stayed there for two nights. Sean and Carrie-Anne came up by third day to come to pick up Cory and I and bring us home. The whole idea is that I was to be with Cory for two days by myself..but foster mom and I decided not to follow the schedule as social worker has set up for us. It doesn't make sense. She wanted me to take Cory back to my "hotel" for two days alone with Cory..but get this..there is NOTHING there for him to keep him amuse, no high chair, no crib, everything he needs is at foster home! at the same time, foster mom is suppose to start packing all his things and be ready to be taken with us. She decided to let me stay at her house while she go out to town for full day. It was so much easier because everything I need for Cory is there. He seems to be fine with her going out for the day. I even took Cory to his playgroup in his hometown and then we went to the park to allow foster mom to pack his things etc.

the story continue???

In late July, Cory came to our hometown for five days..along with foster mom. She stayed at our house for two nights then remain the rest of the week at the hotel. It went very well, Cory was amazing adjusting to all this so well. I think the hard part is NOT going out and keeping everyone away from us during that time. I know everyone want to stop by and meet him etc..we did had a family member came by and only stay for short time. I think it was hard for foster mom..she may have felt little out of place..and knowing her "little boy" that she cares for since birth will be leaving her. I have to admit the time at our house was little nerve-wrecking..you don't know what it will turn out and it made me nervous at times when foster mom was around. I try my best to keep the routines same for Cory that he has in his home..sometimes you can't help not doing that. Our life is completely different..than the one he used to.
I remember the day we all went for a walk to Cloverdale Atheletic Park. It was a "full day" with football game..lots of cheerings, cheerleaders, people walking all over, baseball tournaments going and so on..very busy. Cory stopped suddenly and was taking all in..(remember that in his hometown..they are very small population and nothng like our hometown..traffic, airport, cities etc..) imagine that. Sean was telling him to come on ..and when he wouldn't. Sean just picked him up and then all the suddenly Cory just bawled his eyes out! I immediately knew how he felt..so I just took him and held him to help him calm down and try to explain the best I could with all the environment around him. I had to give him some time to absorb all this..and after about 5 minutes. He was ready to go. To that day, I alway remember to allow anything new and let him to used to it before rushing off. Its like seeing everything for the first time thru his eyes.
The day he has to go home...I had to drop him and his foster mom at the airport. I remember seeing his confusion face, when Carrie-Anne and I had to go back to truck. We had to say good bye to him. He seems really confused why we didn't go with him. Then he got upset as we drove away..I know I saw at the back through my rear window. That was hard. Carrie-Anne was really upset. She said its not fair to Cory! I had to explain as best as I can with how the system works. We were scheduled to see him next week and bring him home for good!

To understand how the system works...

Part II..got called away by awaking kid.
When I was in his hometown, the social worker developed a schedule for me and foster mom, to determine that the transistion goes thru smooth when at the end, it would be easier to bring him home when its final.
First week, when I was in his hometown, I had to study first two days of his routines and stay with foster mom, when he gets up, when he eats or any "special" things that Cory is used to. Then by the third day, I had to take over and do everything myself. It went really well, he is such an affection kid. There are several hugs in between transitions, I enjoyed those in particular. I think he was really taken back and was fascinated with sign languages and facial /body expressions. I stayed there for most of the meals..and was able to oversee everything what he does daily. I have to admit it was a little different doing this, I wasn't sure if this was good idea or not because it really took up a lot of my time, being away from home and my family. What happens to the "bandage" affect? I mean lots of kids that were taken away from their families and placed in foster homes, and alot of them seems to adjust ok. Of course, it does take time and explainings etc. why not do the same for adoption? what's the difference??? I still think to this day whether it would have been better this way? I will continue with my story and you can see why in some points it has been difficult at times.
After a week, in his hometown, I came home feeling emotional, exhausted and overwhelmed with tasks to do and once again try to go back to my life. It took me few days to get back to my own self and feet to my own routine. Did I mentioned how I didn't sleep too well up there in hotel ? it was because it wasn't my "own" bed..I was alone..so its hard to know whether Im feeling safe, plus my asthma was kinda of acting up in the mountains..it was different to "breath"..eventually it got difficult to breathe. Plus I was worried about missing my wake up calls in time to get up and be at Cory's house before he wakes up so I m part of his morning routine? HOW??? im deaf and I can't hear the alarm there and plus a phone call from front desk won't work either. LOL..I did used to have a vibrate alarm clock but it was broken. I just didn't have time to buy another one. (special order)
I was so happy to see my family drive up on the last two days..needless we all couldn't sleep either. The beds were pretty bad..and being in strange place I guess. We all went to the park for few hours together as a family with Cory. It was a real test if we can manage him together and see if we blend well. My daughter is so excited to have a little brother...she really bonds with him instantly. She is the first, Cory would ask to play. They enjoy playing together..I have to admit the age difference was bit of a concern..but honestly it works really well. She is old enough to help him in certain ways and old enough to go do her own things without me having to be watching her. Anyway, the day we all had to go home..we stopped by Cory's house to say good bye and he thought we would be taking him...
When I gave him a hug, I had to put my shoes on etc..we all started to leave..Cory ran up to Sean and Im thinking oh oh..Sean thought maybe he wants another hug. But Cory turn around and said bye bye to foster mom and then point to the door. He was so upset when we had to go..right there I knew for sure I want him as part of our family. I couldn't wait to take him home! I was almost in tears seeing him like that while driving away. But I was also very happy to see his feelings, and more confidence that it would go well.
Next time, he will be in our hometown for about 5 days. That is my another story..

start from the beginning......

whew..im trying to remember way back. Lol..not really way way back. First, I wanted to explain how we got into this.
Sean and I have been foster parents for over 12 years..and we have had several kids who comes and goes..the difference about these kids we had. They all have hearing loss. That what makes our home's an unique place for them.
Anyway, through fostering, we found out that there are at least 1200 kids in BC looking for "forever" home. My heart breaks for those kids who has been in foster care, some for a long time, some not so long..but I can't believe how many there are out there. So of course, I couldn't do nothing..we start looking through the profiles to see if any of these kids are a match for our families. Along the way, once we start looking, we got a phone call from the MCF (Ministry of Children and Families) that there is a 2 yrs. old boy who has a hearing loss and is looking for a family. We weren't looking for a boy at the time, because that is you all know we have a 8 yrs old daughter. You know how girls are..so she wants a sister close to her age. But after hearing about this potential boy, I wanted to find out more about him..so I start my journey there.
Call them back and said we are interested but wanted to find out more about this little fellow and went from there.
The first thing is that his social worker (and foster mom..in this case it's rare for foster moms to come along) to check out our house and wanted to meet up with me and Sean. So they flew out to see us. I have to admit..my stomach was all "butterfly"...and Im thinking .."can I do this??..is this insane??" we know nothing about this little boy! That is not entire true..MCF have to tell us everything about him A to Z..good and bad etc. but you and I both know its different than just reading papers about him than it is in person!
While they were meeting us and asking questions..they kept saying..if you take him would you etc??? and I would be saying if he was with us..he would be etc.." it was insane! i tried so far not say that it was a definite! This silly "ifs"..the social worker finally said.."this is silly..look we really want you to take this boy..we read your files and we think you are a perfect family for him." Normally they are not suppose to tell us right at that spot..but she couldn't just not tell us! AND my heart just leaped with joys! I tried hard not to get too excited..you know you hear horror stories how sometimes adoption didn't happened. so the next step is to make arrangements for me to fly out to meet him and stay in his hometown for a week. I was to stay at the hotel and rental car..(the nearest hotel is about 45 minutes away..) I can't tell you where they are from..due to protection his birth rights. I just say just from North BC.
If you really know who I am...this kinda of changes is hard for me!!!!!!!!!! I hate changes..im just such a perfection, routine structure type of person. but I did it..because there is a little boy for our family.
In July, I flew out (did I say I really hate planes??!?!?), and got myself settled. I was supposed to meet him the next day..but i couldn't wait!! Luckily for me, his social worker knew how it felt so she offer to drive me to see him right away.
First time, I saw Cory..my heart was beating a mile, it was a weird stance..i felt my whole body was doing heartbeat..thump thump..i felt this huge pause, everything around me just literally fade away. My eyes locked into his..he was staring right at me. He was such a beautiful little guy! Then he went to his toys and wanted to show me his cars. We just started to play together. I stayed for dinner at this foster home, the family was very gracious and I have to admit it was kinda of feeling surreal. I feel somewhat felt betray and was on their terriority. Remember this foster mom had him since birth! Yet, here I am taking her little boy away! Talk about feeling bit awkward..

i know!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to catch up..I thought I would be able to do this eventually and catch up all the news with what has been happening from the beginning to now. How the adoption came to this etc...but Cory wouldn't let me out of his sights at this point. sighhh..I rarely have time to sit at the computer and try to let my fingers talking and tell my story. Honestly, I would have done it while he naps but nap times has been not an easy ride ..but with each day, he has been with us..he is starting to nap longer and longer like he used to before he came to our life. And, I have to admit..he kinda of worn me out..so Im finding myself having a nap once a while (for 15 to 20 minutes) or just pure REST on my couch..so I can get that energy back when he wakes up. such a precious boy and BUSY too!!!!!!!!! No complains here...it has been a wonderful journey and I really would like to share and thank god for the beautiful addition to our family. I PROMISE I will start doing my blog...