Part II..got called away by awaking kid.
When I was in his hometown, the social worker developed a schedule for me and foster mom, to determine that the transistion goes thru smooth when at the end, it would be easier to bring him home when its final.
First week, when I was in his hometown, I had to study first two days of his routines and stay with foster mom, when he gets up, when he eats or any "special" things that Cory is used to. Then by the third day, I had to take over and do everything myself. It went really well, he is such an affection kid. There are several hugs in between transitions, I enjoyed those in particular. I think he was really taken back and was fascinated with sign languages and facial /body expressions. I stayed there for most of the meals..and was able to oversee everything what he does daily. I have to admit it was a little different doing this, I wasn't sure if this was good idea or not because it really took up a lot of my time, being away from home and my family. What happens to the "bandage" affect? I mean lots of kids that were taken away from their families and placed in foster homes, and alot of them seems to adjust ok. Of course, it does take time and explainings etc. why not do the same for adoption? what's the difference??? I still think to this day whether it would have been better this way? I will continue with my story and you can see why in some points it has been difficult at times.
After a week, in his hometown, I came home feeling emotional, exhausted and overwhelmed with tasks to do and once again try to go back to my life. It took me few days to get back to my own self and feet to my own routine. Did I mentioned how I didn't sleep too well up there in hotel ? it was because it wasn't my "own" bed..I was alone..so its hard to know whether Im feeling safe, plus my asthma was kinda of acting up in the mountains..it was different to "breath"..eventually it got difficult to breathe. Plus I was worried about missing my wake up calls in time to get up and be at Cory's house before he wakes up so I m part of his morning routine? HOW??? im deaf and I can't hear the alarm there and plus a phone call from front desk won't work either. LOL..I did used to have a vibrate alarm clock but it was broken. I just didn't have time to buy another one. (special order)
I was so happy to see my family drive up on the last two days..needless we all couldn't sleep either. The beds were pretty bad..and being in strange place I guess. We all went to the park for few hours together as a family with Cory. It was a real test if we can manage him together and see if we blend well. My daughter is so excited to have a little brother...she really bonds with him instantly. She is the first, Cory would ask to play. They enjoy playing together..I have to admit the age difference was bit of a concern..but honestly it works really well. She is old enough to help him in certain ways and old enough to go do her own things without me having to be watching her. Anyway, the day we all had to go home..we stopped by Cory's house to say good bye and he thought we would be taking him...
When I gave him a hug, I had to put my shoes on etc..we all started to leave..Cory ran up to Sean and Im thinking oh oh..Sean thought maybe he wants another hug. But Cory turn around and said bye bye to foster mom and then point to the door. He was so upset when we had to go..right there I knew for sure I want him as part of our family. I couldn't wait to take him home! I was almost in tears seeing him like that while driving away. But I was also very happy to see his feelings, and more confidence that it would go well.
Next time, he will be in our hometown for about 5 days. That is my another story..