Kindergarten or not? to hold back or not that is the question..

I am a preschool (ECE teacher) for almost 20 years, and my experiences tell me that it is difficult to make a decision as a parent what we want the best for our child.  Cory is at this level where we realized that he is not ready for "mainstream" approach at our local school.  He is approaching age-appropriate all area of developments except for speech.  We don't want just put him in Kindergarten at Carrie-Anne's school and then do "wait and see"...I am afraid that might be setting him up for fail.  I did thought about him going for another year of preschool but I know too well how school's protocol works.
Ideally, anyone who withheld their child from going to Kindergarten, (for another year of preschool,) the school district will AUTOMATICALLY put them straight to grade one without a question! then you're stuck with negotiations, and trying to push for going to K instead etc will be a long battle.  Its just that they are pretty firm with age - year following levels.  From my experience, it's BETTER for Cory (or any other kids) to go ahead to Kindergarten whether they are not "ready" or not.  The school can START their own evaluations or assessments during that time, and if there is any concerns they can work on it during that time.  Rather than delay when the child is in grade one..you would have to wait another year...which its not good in my experience to delay any further.  The early intervention, the better, so therefore don't want delay Cory's needs by holding him back.  The school has a different procedures, policies, its a whole new ballpark and they prefer to do their own thing.  When it's a better time to do it? Kindergarten or grade one..it's not hard to figure that out.   If then, Cory needs to repeat Kindergarten, fine by with me.  Its better that way.   I know I want him to attend another year of preschool, because it's feeling safe and not wanting to let go in that scary new world out there and I want him to catch up.
But I do have to let him go and let the nature take course with the school district. the sooner the better.  They can work with him and if needed, they will help and get the resources we need.  It's better now, not wait until grade 1.  I am also afraid if I held him back, then in following year, they will put him straight to grade 1, not Kindergarten!  That happened to many kids, I heard.  Some districts are strict with that.  Don't want to take that chance.  
Look like we need to find a resource type of school for him so he can get the resources he needs to work on, rather than our local area school.   In few years, maybe he will be ready to attend Carrie-Anne's school some day.   It is our jobs to help and work with Cory for few more years.

Deaf kid vs Christmas concert? do they really work?

You and I both know that any young deaf kids and music concert doesn't go together!  I noticed that Cory is practicing..ah..(really?) singing the Christmas music at his preschool.  NOT really.  He was actually goofing off and yelling "non words" and so on.  No one is helping him or given him any guidelines..
That is sad. Really...what are they thinking??? I don't get it.  Why didn't they ask me about it?  Why didn't they ask about signing few words for that?   It makes me little mad in sense that they are not really thinking it through.  What about Cory?  mmmm?  I have to decide whether to let him participate or not.  Really..I'm leaning toward not.  its NOT worth it.  He is only 2 years old into "hearing" world, so would you do a music concert with bunch of 2 years old???  I didn't think so.  The expectations is too high for him right now.    I did thought of asking them for some songs that Cory and I can practice together but we don't know the "tune" so how do we practice without others? 
One thing, though, I am not letting him do this so he wouldnt be able to do this.  It's bit embarrassing, I am not sure if he would feel ashamed or feel bad about it.   Again, this is from my own personal experiences, I did some music concerts with my hearing friends at elementary school.  I tell you, I HATE it and it was awful for me.  It took a lot of strong wills not to burst in tears during the concert.  I know that eventually, Cory will be able to singing in those such things but not right now.
Rather than give it up.  I will ask the teacher for song sheets and try to go through with it by using signing supports and key words.  Cory still can practice with his friends but ultimately, he will decide whether he want to join the concert. I will let him decide that.

Halloween!

Non stop chatting about Halloween for the last 2 weeks..I'm so sick of it and I had to put decorations away TODAY! Cory keeps thinking it's gonna last...NOT!

SO we had a lot of fun..I think it is really neat having a deaf kid when having to share so much information and using sign languages as part of expressions.  We had barrel of laughs..Cory isn't afraid of Halloween as much he did in the last 2 years.  So talking about it more and having fun with it, really helps!  I think I didn't do enough last year because I was too "careful" not to scare him and only try to focus few things at a time. But this year, I just went all the way!  We watched "The Monster House" movie.." and he loves it!  We held off not taking him to haunted house or Stanley Park Train Ride, how much is too much? eh?  Well, one night, I was taking 8 girls to the Potter's House of Horrors and Cory was extremely upset that he is not going.  I had to tell him that it's too scary for him and so on.  He wouldn't accept it.  He practicially GLUED on me when I tried to leave.  Bawling his eyes.."Mommmy..I wanna go! I like scary!! " lol.  Really??? it was hard to say.   We did thought of going to the Bear Creek one in next few days if we have time!   It wasn't part of the plan for the weekend but after that with Cory..we thought we should. But we never had a chance to.  :((  too busy!   He seems to forgotten about it..
but for sure, we'll go next year!  Can't wait!
I did played a prank using a big knife, fake blood, bloody kitchen floor and my hand...
Didn't work on CA..she was like "seriously, mom?  really! JEEZ!"  and as for Cory, his eyes grew bigger and his jaw dropped, then he said "are you ok, mom?"  like he feels bad for me.  oh brother! I caved in.
Photos of Happy Halloween!
We did ran into bit of Cory's stubbornness!  HE didn't want to wear his CIs while trick or treating..I thought of safety issues, that he should , because it is bit of overwhelming event.  Should hear cars, people running up to him so he is not "surprised" or hear Halloween things etc..so he is knowing what is going on and get used to different sounds etc.  (we did played Halloween scary sounds on my CD player at home ..) we would guess what it was..he loves it!!!  So he said he doesn't want to.  Didn't say why or what..I told him that he can't go trick or treating without his CI.  He didn't have to wear both.  and He flat out refused.  I think this is the first time I had to stand firm which it kinda of go against my beliefs...by forcing him to wear it for safety reasons.   I did thought maybe he didn't want to wear it because it scared him etc. but that is not the case.  so just no reasons.  He was just being stubborn or couldn't tell me why.   Most of the times, he would tell me why..but this is one of those thing.  so finally, he did wear it and no troubles at all.  I guess I will never know...

 

Future Star

Cory has been playing Future stars soccer league for past month.  It was hard at first because it is bit distracting and out on field, so much going around.  He didn't really follow directions etc..so of course, I had to step in as "mommy's role" the "interpreter!!! so it began..I had to help him to interpreter what the coach say and what are the tasks he has to do etc.  Coach asked questions about certain things..and I know it's a bit of far reach for Cory to understand but I would tell him anyway.  He is really watching me and try to follow through.  Thank god for sign language because it is all "gestures" with soccer tasks and I can't imagine using verbal through that instructional time!  I didn't do it at first time, we went because Sean was on the field with him while I was on the bench.  and Cory was all over the place and not doing any instructional tasks.  So we talked about it when we got home and I think Sean was bit disappointed because it was gonna be "daddy and me" soccer stuff for him to bond with Cory.  But Sean doesn't have enough sign language skills to tell him or what to do in terms of soccer "instructional" tasks.   So now I have to step in and try to work with Cory.  It made a huge difference!   And of course, I had to be a "bigger" advocacy for Cory to help with coach how to use more hand signals and gestures for certain times so Cory can pick up cues and start practicing with the team.   It is great to have people who are willing to do that.  I know there has been a time or two that I had not so GREAT people in my life who refused to change or help me out because of my hearing loss.  but that is life!
Will have to post pictures soon with his soccer team..

"Deaf" Identity

By posting this blog, I know I'm gonna be opening a can of worms..but this is my son's rights.   

wow..I already suspected it before but from what Cory tells me, confirmed it.   We have been so busy in past month getting into the routines with school and all.   He starts at The Biggest Little Preschool three times a week (MWF).  He keeps asking about "other" school and I just tell him, have to wait.  And recently, he said to me "I want my deaf friends".  He doesn't care where he go, he just missed his "deaf" friends like him.   wow.  At this early age, he is able to know the difference and have his own identity.  I already knew that last Spring but actually hear him saying that now.  I was at recently gathering with some of the moms who have children with CI, and they were very interested in deaf community but they all had a bad "experience" with a deaf person or at an event or experience individually.   They were "shunned" for having a CI kid...from the deaf community so that's what they feel.  It's more common than I thought..

With recent events, and gatherings that we went to..it was pretty dishearting to hear and see that.  Even that my son saw their "reactions" when they noticed his CI.  Poor little guy, here he is thinking..what's wrong with me?   IF you pull that aside for a minute, you will see what a sweet little boy he is, and very animated with sign language and facial expressions, lots of gestures and his love for "language"..then you would think twice about his CI.

Ever since..now I'm sitting there and thinking.."what IS wrong with you??!!!!" toward the deaf community..if you continue this "attitude" and "behaviours" toward families with CI..YOUR deaf community will get SMALLER and SMALLER.  I don't know why they don't GET it..a lot of families that I work with, they tell me that they are interested in learning about sign language and deaf community, they do get the glimpse of having a "deaf child's identity". So therefore, believe it or not they DO went out to explore it but get nothing but bad results in an instant.

Yes, a lot of families with young children already have CI at very early age, there is NOTHING we can do but be supportive and educate them the importance of providing LANGUAGE and give them a chance to learn all aspects of communication DURING their early years.  I have worked with many families in early years and they DID and have show interests in sign language regardless if their child have CI or not, all I had to do is to show a path in finding a positive enriched experience to help and learn more about sign language and deaf community.
BUT, of course, we do have to support their choices at the end, whether they do or do not choose sign language but at least give them credits for trying and exploring all aspects of communication.  can't do it if their attitude don't "change" or if they keep shutting out families like that..just because of CI?  are you serious? are you kidding me????!!!    I will continue to fight this, when I SHOULDn't have to fight this.   MY SON have CI and he is DEAF, whether you like it or not.   BRING it on, I say.

My little fish!

It's official.  He is now swimming like a little fish in the big pond (pool)..unfortunately, it's almost at the end of the summer.  Oh well..I look forward to NEXT summer, NOT having to go in the pool with him all the times now.  (doing the happy dances...)   I don't care much for swimming..unless its on a HOT day..just a quick dip or two.  I had to laugh..at the beginning of the summer. We made a mistake of letting him wear his swim suit with floater inside..for safety reasons.  You know how busy he is and get into mischief?  so after swimming lessons in Spring, he was starting to swim and back and forth.  Then two weeks later, we start our summer at BBay and been to the pool daily.  Because he can't really hear me without his CI, so I can't run fast enough to catch him in case, he jumps in big pool.  He is quite stubborn that way.  so I realized that one day after a week and half of pool time, we decided to take off the floater and let him practice with us in pool.  He sank like a ship!  oy oy..and we thought oh boy..we need to practice bit.  He would be screaming and crying..so we put him on the edge for timeout.   He was so stubborn.  He doesn't want to practice his skills as taught from his swim class..I thought  no way.  we came that far, we need to continue.  You know how Cory knows how to be a "drama" queen especially when there's an "audience"?  he would screamed and cried on top of his lungs.  Yes, we were embarrassed by that but he was placed in time out until he is ready to try again.  I told him just practice three things for 15 minutes then you can go play.   NOPE he doesn't want to!   it is quite cute to see him sitting there with eye crossed and arms crossed and glared at us.  So we just ignored him and swim away for bit..then after 5 minutes of TO, we try again.  He would screamed again.  TO again!  I thought wow..that kid is really testing us.   We did told him BEFORE going swimming that he has to practice bit, even we asked CA to do the same so she did her "part".  It didn't take her long to finish.   so again, 5 minutes, same thing, over and over.  TO, try again, he said no don't want to. Then I told him when you're ready..let me know.  He sat there glaring at me.  Its almost like I want to give up but Sean said don't give in..he is so good at that.  30 minutes..it was time to go. oh well.  Swimming is over.  Then of course, Cory wants to practice and try again.  it was too late.  The pool closed for adults only.   Of course, he got upset and I said well..you were being stubborn.  You want to swim, then you have to practice.  The "floater" is forever banned now.   Then the next day..it was much better, he accepted it but was pretty much useless unlike he did at the swim class.  wow..so we did it everyday..before go "play" we practice for 15 minutes top.  His confidence really builds up then, shortly then he was pretty much jumping off the edge like crazy.  (he was scared before) and then just last week of August.  He just literally started going from his own now.  He jumped off and swim back to edge.  He swam to the bottom and touch it or retrieved a toy.  He goes from me to Sean or pretty much just on his own.  One lady from BBay is pretty impressed, she said she remembered him in July , screaming and crying with swimming and now look at him.  

One thing that made the difference is the new goggle that I got from Costco..it really helps as well.  We didn't have it until mid August. 
 I love the new swim cap he have now...I have to take a photo of it.  IT is SO MUCH BETTER than Swim cap (rubbery kind?)  It keeps the CI in place..I'm not saying that we use it in the pool.

On the lighter side...only one CI.

You know that Cory has BI-CI;s.   (two Cochlear Implants) , well..I don't know if this is lazy part of me but in the summer, he only wore one (his preferred 1st) most of the time now.  We did try few times to get him to wear both but we often had to take it off too many times because of bike helmet, swimming, beach and even rough playing.  It ends up in my pocket but I did lost it once because I threw it away by accident! oy!  I must have thought it was something else..found it in the garbage.   Not good..I realized that it's best to keep them in dryer jar and try again when school starts.  We have been home for few days and we have been prompting him to wear both now. Pool and Beach days are over..but he has been resisting it.  ugh.   It would tell me that he doesn't need it.   I try to ask why..he hasn't given me any answer.  He would just run away.   I don't know if this is going to be a problem...