well..that is over..

Some of you aware that Cory's foster mom and her daughter came to visit him over the weekend.  It was bittersweet.   They are such a wonderful people and going out of their way to come and see him for his third birthday.   Bless them from the bottom of my heart.  I think part of the visit was hard for me because Cory was being "spoiled" over the weekend..and therefore lack of ..how do I say this..manners.  (in a polite way..lol)  They asked me beforehand..and I was all for it.  They are special people in his heart and they raised him since birth.  We did a small birthday party for him..huge DQ ice cream cake, some balloons and gifts!  Party hats, blowers and such!  She really wants to do it. 
It was interesting to see how this pan out..how would he react?  You can imagine all sort of scenerios that can come to mind.  And yup, he was very rude, disrespectful to me, Sean and CA.  If we asked him to do something..he would yell "noo.." or in rude way and lean over to them.  He tried to forgo our rules and get away with it.  We did let it go on Saturday but then as the day has progress on...he was getting more rude and not listening at all.  I thought ok..that is not acceptable and we really have to nip it in the bud regardless of visitors.    After they left for the night, Sean and I both told Cory that his behaviours were unacceptable. But figured that it would be best to follow up with it tomorrow morning before they come visit again.    Next morning, sure enough..he knew that they were coming and was being rude to me.   (honestly, I tried so hard not to take it so personally!!!)  The minute he was rude..Sean gave him time out.  And oh boy..he was really mad and screaming.  Sean explained to him about being rude and role playing how he was rude at certain times.  So Sean told him that he wants him to stop saying "No!" and try to be more polite and respectful.  It wasn't to control him by not allowing him to say no..it's more of being respectful that you should do what you're told to do.  For example, time to clean up.  "Ok. Mommy" etc.   So we tried again with him, asking him.  He was rude again.  Time out..then again and again.  We know that he is being very stubborn at that point.   Finally after showing an example by role playing, using me as Cory and then we asked CA to come and we asked her to do the same thing.  She would respond positively.   Then we tried again with Cory, he was about to say "No" again..but then he said "ok, daddy." then started to clean up.  We did the warning, "if you are rude like that again, you will get a timeout."   So part of the morning, it was fine until his visitors came back.  He started being disrespectful to us again and I had to be more courage to give him time out in front of them.   So I did.   And man..he was really screaming and howling.  (like did I hurt him?  you know? ) it was pretty embarrassing.   I just had to stick with it.   when he didn't settled down..I warned him that if you don't settle down I will may have to put you in your room until you calm down.   He finally stopped screaming and start calming down.  For that hour, he got another time out..and he finally gets it.  Like I'm not going to allow this behaviour just BECAUSE you have visitors here and get away with it!  It was so much better after that.  I wonder how she feels about it....honestly, I have no idea.   She is such a sweet soul, I'm feeling like a witch there.     I just think it's really too bad how that she has to see all that..I really wanted her to see how wonderful Cory is and the progress he made.  (oh yeah she sees it..) but I wanted her to see just the way he is normally.  That's all.   ugh.
One thing was that really bothers me was he was calling her mama..I'm like ?!?!?   I signed behind them.."I'm your mama!! don't call her that! " with serious face expression.  And then I told him " say "(her name)," and show him sign name for that too.   Point to her daughter, "(her name)" then to me "Mama", point to CA "Carrie Anne"..just for general.  I hope she doesn't feel offend with me coming up with "Grandma D(name)".  I didn't think of asking her...
Boy, I had to take a day off on Sunday.  I didn't want to be around there anymore.  Just allow Cory with his visitors for the day.  What I can't see..can't hurt me..you know?  I'm glad I did..just to clear my head bit. 

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that must have been a very difficult weekend for your family. My thoughts are with you guys! I'm sure it is not easy, but Karen, I know you and Sean's parenting style, and feel super confident that you guys will get through. Again - thanks for sharing. Its always great to specifically know what things we can pray for ...